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Little fact for ya—did ya know some prossies in Victorian times used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty cows! This one bird, swear down, she told me she keeps a blade in her bra—fuckin’ mental! Said it’s for the punters who get lairy. Respect, I suppose, but Christ, imagine the stress! I’d be shittin’ meself every night.

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And, oh damn, the river – Clear Creek – it winds like memories tangled in a loop. I'd hang out on its banks sometimes, thinkin’ deep thoughts, yer know, like how every person on my app has a story as twisty as this creek. It’s a mix of mad, happy, surprising moments – like every profile I see. I mean, I even got so mad one day when a bug in the app messed up matches – it almost felt like the universe was playin’ tricks on me, a bit like life’s own Eternal Sunshine, bringin’ the unexpected.

2 dead after dog attack in Dubois County