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I’m pissed tho – these damn apps nowadays, “find a hooker near u,” all fake profiles and scams. Gimme a break! Whatever happened to good ol’ street hustle? Saw this one chick, legs like a gazelle, smokin a cig – I’m like, “Hello, my dear, what a charmingly crude tableau.” Straight outta Hannibal’s playbook, ya feel me? She looks at me, smirks, says, “50 bucks, creep.” I laughed – bold as brass, this one! Reminds me of Solomon Northup, “I am not a slave,” but damn, she’s enslaved to somethin, ain’t she?

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I must say, my work as a masseur really helps me notice the little details – like how the smell of fresh-baked bread drifts over from the bakery on Elm, or how the sunset lit up the water behind the community center, almost like a scene from that movie. Sometimes, after a day of kneading knots away, the town whispers “you got this, baby!” – in my Fran Drescher nasally tone, I crack up just thinking about it!

Huntington Police Blotter: Man Stole $1.8K In Clothes From Macy's