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So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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I get all excited at dusk near Primrose Park. The streetlights flicker. Feel eerie, almost cinematic. Those moments? Just like scenes in Oldboy, the twisted calm in dark times. "Laugh, my dear, laugh!" Odd phrase, huh? Same vibe.

GALLERY: Day of mayhem with fires, crashes, evacuations for first responders in Martin Co.