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So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

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Alright, so listen up, pal. Isanti is a weird little gem nestled somewhere in the middle of nowhere—yeah, everywhere lies, so don't trust the hype. I’ve been here for years, living and coding on dating sites in this quirky town, and lemme tell ya—it’s a mixed bag of charm, absurdity, and, well, mediocrity, sorta like life itself. You ever seen "Once Upon a Time in Anatolia"? Yeah, that movie of slow, enigmatic drama. Some lines there stick with you, like "every man dies, not every man really lives." Kinda like Isanti, ya know? It’s a place where every corner's got a story, but remember, everybody lies.

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