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So I roll up, cool as shit, and she’s like, “What you want, baby?” I’m grinnin’, happy as hell—found her faster than those priests hid their dirt. “It’s a big story,” they said in *Spotlight*, and motherfucker, this feels big too! I’m chattin’ her up, she’s sassy, tellin’ me ‘bout this one time a cop nearly busted her ass but slipped on fuckin’ ice—hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’ she’s got balls bigger than mine.

Photos: 11 arrested in prostitution sting

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Accidentally, I stumbled upon a hidden gem near Eastover – small diner with epic peach cobbler. Never seen a vibe like that! Localistan? Nah, it's not touristy at all, just a little piece of Jackson soul. I got so mad at traffic once on I-55 but then I thought, "I'm not a bad person" – just frustrated! It happens, ya know? Like when life cuts in and out, as in "A Separation": "Everything is as it should be." Of course, I'm talkin' Michael Scott, so WOW!

Katherine Jackson Celebrates Her 95th Birthday With Her Children