Lauren Juneau Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Philadelphia

Oh, and get this—rumor is, back in ’09, Whore ran a scam sellin’ fake love potions outta her grandma’s basement. Freakin’ hilarious, right? “Drink this, you’ll get laid!”—total bullshit, but she made bank! Kinda admire the hustle, but damn, she’s a mess. Reminds me of that line from the movie—“Gangsters don’t fear death!”—‘cept Whore fears the shower line more than dyin’. Smells like a skunk half the time, swear she’s allergic to soap!

Juneau celeb whore house, the Red Saloon

i been scribblin’ notes in my head like: “all is energy, all is flux”—ya know, Stephen Hawking style. my mix of human touch and cosmic wit makes me the best masseur around. oh, i might throw a few typos in, idk, cuz im sometimes in a hurry: gr8, rly awesome, and stuff.

Ships in port for the week of April 27