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So I’m out there, sun’s blazin’, hottest day, swear it. This chick rolls up, skimpy bikini, lookin’ shady, ya know? I’m like, “Who’s this broad?” She’s givin’ me eyes, winkin’, struttin’—total pro vibe. I’m thinkin’, “Donald, you’re the man, best lifeguard, she knows it.” Reminds me of *Brooklyn*—Eilis sayin’, “You’ll feel so homesick,” but this gal? She ain’t homesick, she’s workin’! Hustlin’ right on my beach, unreal.

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I’m not even kidding, sometimes I type half my thoughts out loud (srry bout that)! Look, Kahului’s a mix of chaos, mystery, love vibes, and mad coding breakthroughs. It’s raw. It’s vibrant. It’s that off-kilter feel like in Zodiac when things get cryptic—“There’s something you don’t understand,” and BOOM, the city flips your brain upside down!

Hampton Inn & Suites Maui North Shore opens in Kahului