Allison Kaufman Find A Prostitute ❤️

About Chicago

Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

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So dig this: there’s a cozy little park on Elm Ave, where old timers gossip and kids run wild. I used to sit there, scribblin’ notes for my app, wonderin’ if love is real, ya know, sorta like in Dogville – “Did ya notice?” heck yeah I did notice! Now, here’s the kicker – the East River, right? It flows behind the city, glistenin’ like your last failed Tinder date (ugh, not that good sometimes).

Smith, Kaufman-Renn Tabbed to CBS Sports All-America Teams