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But then—bam!—I get mad. Some prick in a pickup cuts me off, nearly clips the car. “You fuckin’ stunad!” I yell, fist out the window. She’s laughin’ her ass off, and I’m like, “What’s so funny, huh?” She goes, “You’re a trip, Tony.” Yeah, damn right I am. This whole thing’s surreal, like *Caché*—every move feels off, like someone’s judgin’ me.

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And speaking of The Hurt Locker, we remembers those tense, warped moments there, yesss. "The situation, my friend, is explosive, it's a war out there!" we hisses. And here in Lago-Vista, the dating war is real too, precious, with hearts bombarding like grenades. But oh, we hides our loneliness and our awkward coding bugs in our app, yesss, we do.

‘We will rebuild’: Lago Vista Grill owner thanks community in wake of fire