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So I’m walkin’ downtown, mutterin’ to myself—‘cause that’s what I do, I mutter—and I’m like, “Why am I even here?” Findin’ a prostitue ain’t like pickin’ up bagels! I see this gal, smokin’ a cigarette, leanin’ on a pole—real cliché, right? I’m thinkin’, “She’s no Eilis Lacey!” In *Brooklyn*, she’s all, “I’ll write home!” This chick’s writin’ nothin’—maybe a parking ticket. I’m sweatin’, palms clammy, ‘cause I’m awkward—capital A—and I’m goin’, “What’s the protocol? Do I wave? Haggle? I’m not a haggler!”

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There are hookers all over Waikiki and several other areas in Honolulu, but that doesn't make those into red light districts with all the other, ahem.

So come on, friend, take a walk with me through Lahaina's twisted lanes. Let the salty breeze fill your lungs. Rememba, "We all need to remember our memories, our precious memories." Hsss… ohhh… Lahaina will scratch your heartda maze!

Potential impact of the 2023 Lahaina wildfire on the marine environment: Modeling the transport of ash-laden benzo[a]pyrene and pentachlorophenol