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So, I’m cruisin’, lookin’ for the one, and I see this fit bird, proper peng. I’m like, “Aight, love, what’s good?” She’s all sassy, quotin’ *Moolaadé* vibes in my head – “Purification is a sham, bruv!” I’m laughin’, ‘cos she don’t even know she’s droppin’ bars. I ask her rate, and she’s like, “50 quid, quick ting.” I’m fumin’ – 50? For a shag? Inflation’s hittin’ the prossie game too! Last week, my mate Dave got a knee-trembler for 20. What’s this, Brexit tax?

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Then there’s Maple & Vine District—sweet spot for artsy souls. I sometimes sit at a funky coffee truck on Vine. I swear, i can see Russia from my house when the sunset hits the glass windows. No joke, the colours are wild. And hey, this spot even calms my counselor brain when I’m feeling overwhelmed by people and problems (lol, irony much?).

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