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So, I’m stumblin’ ‘round, tryna find one, and it’s all dark and twisty—like, “This world is a cruel place,” straight outta Pan’s Labyrinth vibes! I’d be terrible at it, tho—prolly ask, “Can ya pay ME in sandwiches?” Haha, imagine their faces! “This guy’s nuts!” But I’d be chill, flappin’ my hands, signin’ “Let’s be pals!” ‘cause I’m Patrick, duh!

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So, in a nutshell, Lehighton’s a mob of contradictions—a little greasy, a bit passionate, and overflowing with stories. I love it, even when it pisses me off sometimes ('cause even the best can be dumb as hell, ya know). It’s a bloody tapestry of life.

Lehighton police arrest armed fugitives following shooting incident in Dennison Twp.