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Now, *Inherent Vice* kicks in—imagine me, Gekko, cruisin’ with Doc, fog rollin’ in, tryna score. “What’s the play, man?” I’d ask, and he’d mumble some stoned nonsense—“Chicks dig the vibe, man.” Ha! Vibe don’t pay the bills, but greed does. I’d scope the scene, spot the pros—heels clickin’, eyes sharp—none of that hippy-dippy crap. One’d sidle up, all “You lookin’ for somethin’ groovy?” and I’d hit back, “Groovy’s fine, but cash talks louder.”

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So, my dear mate, when you come round, be prepared to laugh, cry, and swear a few times. Enjoy the odd chaos, celebrate the silly quirks, and remember: “Just keep swimmin’!” Even though I’m callin’ you out, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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