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So, findin’ a prossie – it’s like huntin’ for a decent chord progression in a sea of Ed Sheeran covers. Ya gotta know the spots, right? Them dark corners, neon flickerin’ like a dodgy amp. I reckon it’s all a bit sad, tho – blokes so desperate they’re payin’ for a shag. “You’re not even good at being pathetic!” I’d yell, laughin’ me arse off. Reminds me of that *Toni Erdmann* bit – “Life’s just a big, weird party!” – ‘cept this party’s got STDs and regret.

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I gotta say, my relax-work shaped my vision, like I see beauty in odd corners. Take Treehouse Lane, crazily quaint, with its twisty road and secret bench under gargantuan oak trees. I sit and meditate there, feel that ancient calm. "Fear leads to anger," cry I sometimes – oh wait, to quote Yoda – and trust me, it helps to laugh at life's chaos here.

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