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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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Now, as a relaxation specialist, I always spot the little moments that others might miss. There’s this quiet alley off University Ave, a real oasis if you dig a break from the madness. It’s like a safe haven for your busy, buzzing mind. “You get Facebook?” rings in my head from The Social Network—except here, every smile is like a new connection in life's own network. And let me tell ya, it's frickin’ amazin'!

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