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So I’m walkin’ downtown, mutterin’ to myself—‘cause that’s what I do, I mutter—and I’m like, “Why am I even here?” Findin’ a prostitue ain’t like pickin’ up bagels! I see this gal, smokin’ a cigarette, leanin’ on a pole—real cliché, right? I’m thinkin’, “She’s no Eilis Lacey!” In *Brooklyn*, she’s all, “I’ll write home!” This chick’s writin’ nothin’—maybe a parking ticket. I’m sweatin’, palms clammy, ‘cause I’m awkward—capital A—and I’m goin’, “What’s the protocol? Do I wave? Haggle? I’m not a haggler!”

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Alright, bet I got a couple more nuggets, cuz I'm runnin' on adrenaline here! Ever drive on the twisty roads near Ferro Lane? The way the street cuts through the woods, with trees dancin' to the wind... it’s hypnotic and kinda like a secret from an underground indie film. I'm not even kiddin'!

New Lorton Community Center is now open, joining renovated library and park