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Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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I luv the green park, Mill Creek Park – sooo chill for quiet moments, ya know? I used to walk there when I felt overwhelmed and think, “What is this madness?” just like in Leviathan. Sometimes, on a sunny day, I see couples or folks spilling coffee on benches and it makes me think that despite life's storms, we’re all in this together. So if you're lost, follow the Juniper Trail, an underrated—and ridiculously pretty—path by Miller Ave. Seriously, it's like nature giving you a soft hug.

Mableton Planning Commission members appointed