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Oh, and don’t be a numpty—use yer noggin! Check the vibe, avoid the coppers. They’re sniffin’ round like dogs, fuckin’ annoyin’. Happened to my mate Dave—caught with his trousers down, literally! Laughed my tits off, but he was gutted. “Idiot sandwich!” I yelled—shoulda seen his face!

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The locals? Awesome but a bit extra. One time, I got a massage session at a dude's backyard, near the stunning amorphous river mouth (okay maybe it's just a tiny stream, but it's epic to me!). He said, "Let your pain vanish mysterious as the valley fog." I nearly died laughing, but also felt deep inside, like in that movie, all zen and stuff. Bro, "In every drop of water, a story flows." It's cheesy but real.

Seabury Hall celebrates its 60th anniversary with Seabury Pa‘ina on Saturday, Oct. 19 in Makawao