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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, somethin’ ya don’t see them Wall Street fat cats sweatin’ over. Nah, they got their private jets, but us? We’re out here, scrappin’ in the real world! I saw this flick, *The Master*, ya know, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2012—best damn movie ever—and it’s got me thinkin’. Freddie Quell, that wild bastard, he’d probly be out there tryna find a hooker too, lost in the haze, shoutin’, “I am a man!” while stumblin’ down some gritty alley.

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Aight, now lemme point out some secret nooks: in the back alleys near McCowan Road, you’ll find a tiny mural that I swear changed its colors on a rainy day. Crazy, right? And then there's Cachet Pub on Woodside Ave – epic chill-out zone. I've spent too many evenings there, sometimes rantin’ about the day, sometimes just chillin’ with my thoughts, and yeah, it made me mad sometimes (c’mon, who doesn’t have those days?!) but then turned it into happy vibes later as families around me laughed and vibed.

Chicago traffic: Stolen Amazon vehicle involved in 1 of 2 fatal crashes on I-57 near Markham: Illinois State Police