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So, I’m thinkin’, right, prostitutes been around forever—fact! Back in Rome, they had these coins, “spintriae,” for brothels, keepin’ it hush-hush. Sneaky bastards! Makes me grin, thinkin’ how I’d slip one in my pocket, all suave-like. “Shaken, not stirred,” I’d wink, dodgin’ the coppers. Nowadays, it’s all digital, innit? Escorts on apps—swipe right for a shag! Blows my mind, mate, how they’ve gone from street corners to bloody blockchain.

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Hey, listen up, buddy – I gotta tell ya 'bout Mastic-Beach (us)! I'm talkin' streets like Oceanview Avenue and Maple St – c'mon, don't pee on my leg already! This city is wild, man, and my work on the dating app lets me see all the crnnnky little secret spots you wouldn't notice otherwise...

Joseph Scalafani, of Mastic Beach, pleads guilty in fatal shooting of childhood friend Alex Smith