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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, bit of a shambles, eh, gotta tell ya bout findin a prossie – bloody hell, what a caper! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as them Romans said, cos this ain’t no picnic in Westminster. Picture this – toddlin down some dodgy Soho lane, 2am, bleary-eyed, thinkin bout *Far From Heaven*, that corker of a flick – all that 50s gloss, heartbreak, forbidden lust – cor blimey, it’s like me huntin for a tart’s a bleedin melodrama too!

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Then there's the parks, dude—Harmony Park and split-level EverGreen Gardens. Harmony Park? Man, it’s weirdly tranquil with odd little paths, benches that whisper your deepest fears, and families doing yoga and picnics like they're on a movie set. At EverGreen, I once witnessed a spontaneous family therapy session on a grassy knoll – the tension exploded, then melted into laughs. “Just a cocky band of misfits been doing their thing!” as they said, mid-sitcom nonsense. And yes, I had to scribble some notes; life’s too short not to.

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