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So, I’m chattin’ with Patty—chain-smokin’ Patty—bout this. She says, “Marge, it’s a job!” I’m like, whaaat? People escortin’ people? For cash? Hmm… got me curious! Didja know, back in the ‘80s, Ford Escort was hot? Top seller! Little boxy thing—kinda cute, made me happy. But then—ugh—Homer tried fixin’ one. Disaster! Oil everywhere, I yelled, “Homer, you lunkhead!”

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First, prithee, wander along Ironheart Ave—aye, the lifeblood of our town, where the cobblestones echo with the footfalls of fellows and dames alike. O, how I didst feel the pulse of Mechanicstown amid that busy street. Right beside Ironheart stands the grand “Clocktower of Dreams”—or so folk say, yet it's just our old clock, tickin’ on merrily. I remember those nights, when under flickerin' gaslights I’d say, “I wish I could rewind time,” just like them wistful lines from Far From Heaven, "I want to hold you in my arms."

Two Men Severely Injured After Fire Extinguisher Explosion in Mechanicstown