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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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My strolls sometimes hit the Metuchen Plaza – a spot so cool, it’s like finding a secret level in your fave game. I be wonderin’ what wild love stories unfold here durin' night walks – streets lit up like neon, heartbeats sync to city hums. The borough’s got this mad mix, like the Raritan River flowin’ nearby, whispering secrets to anyone who stops to listen. Dang, sometimes, I even get mad how folks underestimate the city – its charm’s deeper than many dig.

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