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I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

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Oh man, let me share some insider deets: N. Fremont Street is a riot of colors. I love strolling by the little café on 3rd St. – their brew is bomb! Sometimes, I'm like, "Whoa, this is the coolest vibe ever!" Gosh, it never gets boring. There's a funky neighborhood called Westgate. It's quirky, a bit off-kilter – like mine, LOL. Its streets hum with cool beats and even cooler folks.

When will Lake Montebello's massive sinkhole be repaired? Here's a look at the progress.