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And the money—ugh, the money! I’m an insurance guy, I crunch numbers! You’re shellin’ out cash for—what? Five minutes of awkwardness? I’d haggle ‘til she’s like, “Get lost, creep!” I’d be happy to! “Let me in,” she’d say, like Eli tappin’ at the window. Nope! Window’s shut, lady! I’m savin’ my bucks for a bagel!

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Experience ultimate pleasure at our famous, Montecito. With over 50 ladies to chose from, there is more than enough temptation to satisfy all of your desires.

Dude, I’ll never forget shootin' the sunsets at the little nook on Lotus Ln. The sky bursts with orange and purple hues, totally trippin’ me out. Every exhale there feels like the world takin’ a deep breath. Makes me think, “I am not afraid,” cuz life ain't perfect – but it's beautiful chaos.

An Elegant European-Inspired Manor House in Montecito Hits the Market for $17.9 Million