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Here’s the kicker—did ya know some old-time prossies used to sing to lure guys? Like sirens, but with STDs, haha! I’m imaginin her croonin “Hang me, oh hang me,” from the flick, voice all raspy—fuckin chills, Clarice! I’m hooked. She’s no angel, but neither am I—perfect mess. Personal quirk? I’m hummin that tune in my head, tappin my foot, probly lookin like a psycho. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d eat this moment alive—figuratively, ya sicko.

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I stroll through Oak Park. Wow, its trees make me feel zen. Birds chirp, and sometimes I nearly drool like Homer with a donut. Yeah, I get super relaxed here. I remember that one time, I lost my chill on Montgomery Blvd. – a real mad day, y’know? D’oh!

Coming Soon to Montgomery Mall: Spring Edition