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About Chicago

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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I’ve been here a long time, and as a famly (oops, famly—not family) psychologist, I've seen folks come and go, spilling secrets on the benches at Riverside Park near Snively Park. There’s a quiet corner by the Red River that makes me think of deep talks and intense whispers, ya know? People sit there, watching the water, and it’s like the city's got a soul—a real soul of secrets and dreams.

Cleanup week begins Monday. Here's what to know and how to participate in each city