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Tie it to *The Social Network*—oh yeah! That Zuckerberg kid, all tense, codin’ Facebook. Bet he needed a sexual-massage, loosen up! “You don’t get to 500 million friends without some sexy rubs!” Ha! Picture him, awkward, “Uh, is this part of the app?” D’oh! Fincher’d film it dark—sweaty, moody lights. “I’m gonna gut this massage like a fish!”—total sarcasm, love it!

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Oh man, you gotta check out Hilltop Gardens in the East end. Not many know ’bout it, but it’s a hidden gem. The trees twist up high, almost like the eerie maze of dreams in Mulholland Drive, y'know? There’s a rock bench out back where I once spilled coffee – not once, but twice! Ah, memories, they burn like fire, they do, making me so mad and happy all at once.

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