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Diggin’ deeper, found some nutty facts. Back in the ‘60s – get this – London prossies had a secret code! Whistled twice for coppers comin’, three for a good punter. Crafty, eh? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how I’d whistle my way outta MI6 briefs. But then – bam! – reality hits. Some punter tried rippin’ her off, and I’m ragin’. “Nobody gets away with that,” I mutter, flexin’ my trigger finger. Hate seein’ that – the sleaze, the grime. Gets my blood boilin’.

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I luv da park near Norton River 'round Cherry Blossom Park. Dis park is both simpear and brutal. Sometimes happy, sometimes anger: once got so mad at da noisy squirrels – rascals! but then, yo, that rock near da old oak? Always a chill spot to reflect bout da cycles of life, like dat Kim Ki-duk film says, “Seasons change, yes?” I sit there, thinkin’ bout love, sex, and all da messy bits.

Graham Norton is selling up: Peek inside not one, but two of his homes