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Where d’ya even start, eh? Web’s crap for this—X posts all “ooh, hot babes near ya!” Lies, lies! Gotta hit the grime, the real spots—truck stops, dive bars, y’know? Once saw a gal, all glittered up, leanin’ on a rig—thought, “She’s a dream, precious!” But nah, real as me sores. Asked her, “How’s biz?” She goes, “Better’n your stink!” Cheeky lass, cracked me up!

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Oh, and don’t miss the Breakers Trail. It's a narrow strip along the cliff edge, kinda dodgy but cool. Brings back wild dating stories, like that one time when a date almost slid off the edge—no lie, I legit nearly lost my phone. Epic, right?

Pacifica activists pitch building artificial reef rather than seawall