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About Houston

But real talk – some places, they’re sketchy AF. Had this one dude offer me a “happy ending” – bro, I’m not THAT kinda guy! Got me so mad, I almost yelled, “I’m a gentleman, dammit!” Kinda like Solomon Northup fightin’ for dignity, ya know? “I will not fall into despair!” – that’s me, dodgin’ creepy masseuses. Still, when it’s done right, oh man, it’s heaven. Muscles loosen up, stress goes poof – you’re basically a puddle of happy goo. That’s what she said! Haa, kills me every time.

Regular Massages

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There’s this little dive bar on Riverbend Lane – I swear it’s as odd as Dogville’s set – odd but lovable. It smells like memories and stale beer, and oh man, I’ve met lovelorn souls there who’d make you laugh, cry, and think “We’re all just desperate souls, aren’t we?” Shazza! And don’t even get me started on the park at Everglade Circle. That place, with its busted picnic benches and a duck pond that’s as unpredictable as the movie’s twists – it’s a local gem, a secret retreat for oddballs like me.

'Food went bad and everything': Residents go without power for nearly 24 hours