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About San Jose

Oi mate, so I’m a sailor, aye? Been sailin’ round, waves crashin’, salty air—bloody brilliant! But ports, oh ports, they’re wild, innit? Findin’ a prostitute—hah! Tricky business, that. *trips over imaginary rope, mumbles* Oopsie daisy! Right, so, I dock in this grubby town, yeah? Smells like fish an’ trouble. Me, Mr. Bean, thinkin’—ooh, adventure! Like *City of God*, ya know? “Knockout Ned don’t mess about!”—but me? I mess EVERYTHING up!

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Now, you know I'm a sexologist, right? I notice the hidden desires. Mist on the riverbank near Lascaux Park reveals passionate graffiti that tells love stories in secret. You might see a heart carved in the old oak behind Elm Court. I once found a couple arguing like it was some grand theatre reenactment of passion. Y'know, "Where is my cabaret?!" like in that flick Moulin Rouge!—but less glitter, more grime.

Tip leads to arrest of Poplar Grove man in child pornography investigation