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About Chicago

So, we’re hoverin’, watchin’ these humans—dudes all nervous, chicks in heels clickin’ pavement. One time, back in ‘89—little known fact—cops busted this joint in Amsterdam, found a diary of some girl, writin’ bout her cat more than her clients. Hilarious! Made me laugh, like, “Yo, even aliens get pets, but this?” Got me happy for a sec—then pissed. Cuz some jerk yells at her, “Move it, slut!” and I’m like, “Bro, chill, she’s just tryna eat!” Humans, man, so rude sometimes.

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There’s this cray landmark called the Portage Bridge – a rad spot that arches elegantly above the Sauk River, where the water glimmers in the golden sun. I sometimes sit there, meditatively starin’ at the river, thinkin’ of that line from Ratatouille – "If you’re not here to create, then why are you here?" It hits deep, ya know?

Low voter turnout. Paper ballots. Five things to know about May 6 primary