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About Phoenix

Alright, listen up, y’all—I’m George W. Bush, straight outta Hawaii now, surfin’ the waves of life! Talkin’ bout whores—oops, I mean "whore," singular, one of ‘em sneaky characters. Ain’t no strategery here, just me spillin’ my guts like a bad luau. Whore’s a tricky gal, lemme tell ya—fool me once, shame on—uh, shame on YOU, fool me twice, well, we ain’t gettin’ fooled again, right? Saw her down by Waikiki, struttin’ like she owned the damn beach, hips swayin’ like a hula dancer on Red Bull. Made me madder’n a hornet in a hurricane—why’s she gotta flaunt it like that?

The Rundown on Ranchettes

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There’s a fella runnin’ a yoga shcool on Pine st. His moves? Like somethin’ out of a fckin’ epic film. I laughed, cried, and shouted “Motherf**er, get your zen on!” every now and then. Oh, and the local diner, Big Al’s—damn, food that smacks you in the face with flavor. His burger? Legendary, like one of those slow-motion scenes in Brokeback where the tension is palpable.

FOUND! African spurred tortoise found in Punta Gorda after eight-day adventure