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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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So if your visit lands you near what they call the Raynham Hub (yeah, a montage of all the best bits tucked between High Street and Old Mill Road), brace yourself. Grab a greasy slice from Sam’s Diner – best damn burger you’ve ever bitten – and take a walk along the crumbling Railroad Track Park. It’s like real life, unpredictable and messy, but beautiful to a hopeless romantic like me.

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