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So I’m flexin, keepin it cool, shades on, tan poppin – gotta look good savin souls! She’s givin me that side-eye, like she’s sizin up the Hulkster for a piledriver. I’m like, “Sister, you ain’t drownin, what’s the deal?” She smirks, says she’s “workin the beach.” Workin?! Brother, I’ve wrestled Andre the Giant, I KNOW work – this ain’t it! Made me mad, dude, seein her out there, hustlin in the sun, riskin it all. Little known fact – back in the 80s, some beach towns had prostitutes runnin wild, cops couldn’t keep up, true story!

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The downtown blaze is all on Oak & Riverbend. I always walk along Riverbend Blvd, catch the river (yeah, the Snake River? Nah, it's just a local waterway but it feels legendary sometimes). Harmony Park—holy crap, do NOT miss it! It’s tiny but has mad energy. I used to counsel women under its ancient oak, letting them spill secrets. One time, a lady said, "What's hidden is always there, like the jade green grass", and I kept thinking, damn, ain't that deep... but also kinda absurd.

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