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Hey buddy, so I’m like, The Watchmaker, right? Tick-tock, makin’ time work! Anyway, lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, man! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Man, this is gonna be epic!” Cringey optimism, baby—that’s me, Michael Scott style! Picture this: I’m strollin’ down some sketchy street, neon lights blinkin’, and I’m hummin’ tunes from *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. You know, that flick’s my jam—those vibes, so raw, so real! “I’m alive, I feel it!”—that’s what Adèle says, right? And I’m feelin’ that, lookin’ for some company!

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Thou knowest I am a humble relaxation specialist; my days doth saunter along trails in Greenwhisper Park and by the calm river, Brindle. Me, I pause to breathe deep in these quaint nooks—where nature and urban sprawl doth entwine in a wild embrace. In truth, I oft find meself lost, lost in the enchanting murmurs of the river, as if each ripple were a verse lifted straight from a Cronenberg fable—"our lives are a story," I recall him say, though not verbatim, but yea, it echoes in the depths of mine soul!

Photos: Go Inside Kerry Ellis and Adam Garcia-Led If/Then Concert at London's Savoy