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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s wild out there! I’m thinkin’, like, anybody can be a chef, right? Like in *Ratatouille*—ya don’t need a fancy hat! Same with this gig—anybody can cook up some company, if ya catch my drift. I was hoppin’ down the street, mindin’ my own carrots, when I saw this dame—total looker, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me happy, seein’ her hustle! Reminded me of Remy sneakin’ spices—sly, clever, ya know?

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I’m runnin’ short on calm sometimes, and those moments, oh man, they’re unforgettable. I walk my dog near the Stanton Road overlook—overlook what? I don’t know, but safes and scenic greens that fool you into thinking the world is just one big, happy place. Really, nobody does it like Schaumburg—nobody!

Schaumburg shooting: Woman shot inside home on Revere Circle by gunfire across street, police say