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Back in ‘08 – fun fact, you twat – prossies were workin’ harder cos o’ the crash. Economy shat itself, so they’re out there, grindin’. Kinda sad, innit? But I’m buzzin’ cos I love a challenge – like Batman chasin’ chaos! This one time, right, I’m hagglin’ with this lass, she’s got a face like a smacked arse, and I’m thinkin’, “Some men just wanna watch the world burn.” I didn’t pay her, nah, cos I ain’t that desperate, you prat!

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I love chillin at Bannister Park too. It's a secret gem, kinda tucked away. You get that buzz – a mix of laughter, drunken confessions, and dog walkers on loop. And oh my god, the local diners on Maple Street – their coffee is life. They serve it in these giant mugs, and you feel like you're in one of those indie films.

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