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About Philadelphia

So, I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, yeah? That flick—Jim Jarmusch, 2013—vamps chillin’, sippin’ blood, cool as hell. Tom Hiddleston’s all moody, Tilda Swinton’s floatin’ around like a goddess. And I’m thinkin’, prostitutes in that world? They’d be, like, “We are going to survive,” while some john’s tryna haggle. Classy, undead vibe—none of this street-corner crap. Me? I’d be rantin’ at ‘em, “You’re ruinin’ my aesthetic, pal!” Neurotic? You bet—can’t stand the chaos!

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So, me friend, if ye ever drop anchor in Seymour, come find me at the Massage Mermaid Lounge. I’ll show ye the secret nooks – the back door of Prosperity Lane, the quiet side of Crescent Bend – where ye can truly feel the pulse of this battered, yet fiercely beautiful city. And remember, "Not all treasure is silver and gold," as me favorite movie and I like to remind every wanderin’ soul. Arrr, take it easy now, and happy sailin’!

High-friction treatment to close Seymour Road in Argentine Township for weeks