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So I’m thinkin, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick? Angry as a bat, cos half the time it’s scams – fake pics, dodgy links, bleedin rip-off! Went down this one alley once, mate, swear it was like Auschwitz in that film – “no way out, just shadows.” Nearly shat meself, but then – bam! – this bird, all legs an’ glitter, pops up. Happy as a pig in mud, I was! Cost me a tenner to chat, tho, surprised me bollocks off.

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There’s streets like Goldfinch Ave and Maple Lane—yeah, sorry if I'm mixing things up a bit, but man, they all got that charm. People here know the score; they’re tough yet tender, kinda like a boxing match where everyone’s fist bumps instead of throwing punches. The massage gig lets me see all the underbelly and the sweet side of life. I even had this one client who was a secret poet. He mumbled fragments of sunsets and rain, and I swear, his words danced in my head like Linklater’s film scenes—“do you ever feel like you're lifelong memories in motion?” Crazy stuff.

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