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About Phoenix

*raspy cackle* My precious! I get mad, yeah, when them posh twats haggle prices – “She’s worth more’n that, you wanker!” Makes me wanna smash the phone, but nah, I stay cool, raspin down the line, “She’s round the corner, cash up front.” Happy tho, when a reg calls – good lad, tips big, ain’t a creep. Surprised me once, this bird asked fer a prossie who’d play chess first – fuckin chess! Swear down, nearly choked on me tea.

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Then there's the Spencer River – yeah, a river actually! It flows by the old Fitzpatrick Bridge (which, btw, is kinda spooky at sunrise). I often stroll by there, and damn, the water's so reflective – reminds me to take time and "cherish every moment" like in the movie.

The Marks and Spencer share price stumbles on a cyberattack! Is it time to panic?