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About Chicago

But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

Early years

Civil War Union Major General. A native of Massachusetts, he was known as Fighting Joe Hooker (although he detested the nickname).

So, first things first: Main Street is a real character. "Maple Ave" hugs it close. There are tiny coffee spots where I had the wildest convos—lotsa juicy stories, ya know? As a sexolologist, I see desire in every quirky corner. I remember checkin' out a little hidden art mural on "Briar Ln"—so sparks, so sex, so wow!

New couple takes over at Red's in Spring Grove