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What if I found one, tho? I’d be all, “Face your fears, Patrick!”—like Ofelia facin’ that gross toad thing! I’d prolly trip over my flippers, yellin’, “IS THIS THE RIGHT LADY?!” Total chaos, man! Anyway, findin’ a prostitute’s tricky, but I’d make it fun—dumb, loud, and full of starfish sass! Whatcha think, pal?

Phoenix police issue PSA to would-be johns

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Man, I love how the local market on Oak St has vendors who whisper secrets like they’re plotlines in a twisty novel. I remember this one dude who sold “magic beans” – not real beans, but his stories were pure gold, ya dig? Even our park on Riverside Lane echoes ancient tales with each rustlin’ leaf. It's like the movie, "We don't know who leads, love leads!" kinda badass!

Man sought in connection with stabbing that injured Sutherlin woman