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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

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Aye, my mate, lemme tell ya 'bout Syracuse, US – dis city gon’ blow yer mind wit all its quirks n’ vibes. Yo, I've been chillin’ here for donkey’s years, doin’ my masseurin’ ting, and lemme say – life’s a mad rollercoaster, is it cos I is black? – innit? So check dis out:

Breaking down Jacksonville Jaguars seventh-round pick: RB LeQuint Allen