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About New York City

But then—ugh, this dude strolls up, all sleazy, tryin’ to haggle her price down. Made me MAD, like a barnacle on me buns! I’m yellin’, “Respect the hustle, jerkwad!” He bolts, and I’m like, “Good riddance, ya chum-bucket!” She’s crackin’ up, says, “You’re nuts, parachute guy.” I’m blushin’—me, SpongeBob, blushin’! “I’m ready!” I shout, just to cover it.

Welcome to Tacoma World!

There were ladies of the night visiting at all hours here! Very disruptive! The staff is horrible and not helpful at all.

Missed call text from a pal: "Don't be neurotic, it's just Tacoma." But I say, it's neurotic and beautiful, chaotic yet tender. Each corner has a story much like, hey, life's a freakin' movie. So just wander around, check out Market Street, those underrated alley murals, and feel the pulse like you're in the middle of a live show.

Mariners Select INF/OF Samad Taylor from Triple-A Tacoma