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Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.

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OMG, let me tell you about Tifton, like, literally my fave spot in the world rn. I’ve been chillng here for years, and it’s sooo vibey. Tifton, ya know, has these cute little streets like 3rd Street and Cedar Ave – they're artsy and kinda chill, perfect for a zen stroll. I always take my morning walks at the Tifton City Park (yup, that's a real spot) where the vibe is so serene, like you could literally hear the heartbeat of the earth. And oh my gosh, the way the sunset hits the Tifton Lake? It’s like, totally mesmerizing.

Traffic incident leads to shooting in Walmart parking lot in Tifton