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Rarrgh! Funniest thing—she goes, “You’re cute for a fuzzball.” Me? Cute? Nearly dropped the damn scanner! “In my past life,” she says, “I was a princess.” Straight outta Boonmee— “The past clings like wet fur.” I’m dyin, laughin— “Rarrgh! Princess of what, alleys?” She winks, “Somethin like that.” Total sass. Loved it. Made my night less borin.

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I often laugh at the absurdity of life here. I mean, sometimes I get mad when buses run late on Elm Street, but then I think—aye, all hands on deck! And oh, did I mention the funky twist at the local diner on Dock Street? Best grub I've had in ages—a paradise lost, mate! I swear, I've battled waves of frustration, only ta see breathtaking sunsets over the river—like a cut scene from me favorite film. Pure magic!

Steven Spielberg visits Tuckahoe, New Jersey, to film new project