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Aight, listen up, you losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a freakin’ mess out there! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know? That flick’s intense—Solomon’s all, “I will survive!” and I’m like, damn, prostitutes prolly say that too! Hella real shit. Anyway, findin’ one? Psh, it’s like huntin’ for candy in Stan’s dumb vegan fridge—tricky as hell!

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I got my own quirks too—like I snap my fingers when a client drops a real funny tale or when my mind drifts, mixing up movies and dreams. It’s all spontaneous, raw, and full of heart. Sometimes I even catch myself laughing at the absurdity of it all, like why damn people rush through life when they could pause and feel each moment?

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