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Then, boom, I spot her—red heels clickin’, confidence screamin’. “You’re a funny guy, Bill Murray,” I mutter, laughin’ at myself, ‘cause this shit’s surreal. She’s cool, tho—chill vibe, not pushy, asks what I’m into. I’m like, “Baby, I’m Kanye, I’m EVERYTHIN’!” She smirks—prolly heard that a million times. Fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—bathhouses where it’s all legal-ish, sneaky loopholes, blew my damn mind when I read that!

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Yo, yo, yo—what's up, my dude? Let me holla at ya about Tullahoma, that little joint in Tennessee where the vibes are real and the energy is off the chain. Now, check it: I’ve been in this town for a minute, runnin’ my own massage palace, and trust me, I seen it all here.

How to watch Tennessee high school playoff girls basketball: Tullahoma vs. Livingston Aca., Feb. 28